Solitude: The Overlooked Path to Move Through Loneliness

Solitude is a chosen state of being alone. It is not the same as interpersonal loneliness or existential loneliness, which may lead to an early death or death by suicide in extreme cases.

Solitary confinement and social outcasting are some of the worst forms of punishment. In psychoanalysis, Object Relations Theory basically states humans are social beings who need to have rewarding relationships to be fulfilled. And yet, the need for alone time is as vital to human life as the need for social interaction.

When you practice solitude, you will be better able to move through loneliness with skill, rather than try to end it unskillfully at all costs.

In episode 65 of The Incrementalist, you will learn:

1) The main differences between solitude and loneliness

2) The key differences between loners and introverts, who both enjoy solitude

3) The reason extroverts might need solitude more than loners and introverts

4) The four key benefits of solitude:

i) Intentionality

ii) Intellectuality

iii) Simplicity

iv) Self-sufficiency

5) Easy ways to practice solitude in daily life

To learn more by reading the transcript, go here.

To listen to Solitude: The Overlooked Path to Move Through Loneliness, click here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist podcast at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

Watch the video on our YouTube channel, The Incrementalist – A Productivity Show. And subscribe to the show to keep making big changes in small steps.

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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Why People Die by Suicide and What We Can Do to Prevent It

Suicide is a leading cause of death and can be mitigated with suicide prevention steps and open discussions on mental health. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, with September 10 designated as World Suicide Prevention Day and the week (September 10 to 16) focused on building suicide awareness and reducing stigma around death by suicide.

Dr. Rory O’ Connor, a Professor of Health Psychology at the University of Glasgow, where he heads the Suicide Behaviour Research Laboratory, notes that it’s a common and harmful myth that asking someone if he has suicidal thoughts will plant the idea into his head. Rather, asking this difficult question could instead lead the person to get the help needed.

In his book, When It is Darkest: Why People Die by Suicide and What We Can Do to Prevent It, Dr.  O’ Connor points out:

1. Suicide rates increase in warmer months, not colder months.

2. Sudden and unexplained improvement in mood – in a person who has suffered a depressive episode – might be a warning sign.

3. A major setback or loss in status or relationships can trigger suicidal thoughts, even if the person has not previously experienced depression or other mental health issues.

4. Suicide risk is affected by a wide range of conditions, including individual factors (like biology and brain health) and environmental factors (like cultural and social contexts).

5. The motivational model of suicide behavior involves three parts: the premotivational phase, the motivational phase, and the volitional phase. Not everyone who has suicidal thoughts in the premotivational phase moves to the motivational phase (where they have suicidal ideation or intention formulation) or the volitional phase (where they engage in suicidal acts or behavior, which may be fatal or non-fatal).

6. People with high social perfectionism have thin psychological skin such that when the bows and arrows of life hit them, their skin is much more likely to be pierced metaphorically. Thus, they are more inclined to feel defeated or humiliated and begin to have suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

7. People end their life to manage unbearable pain when they see no other solution to end the pain.

Unwanted social isolation and chronic loneliness have a dramatic, negative effect on a person’s mental wellness, emotional well-being and physical health. But choosing to engage in alone time through solitude can be therapeutic and restorative. Depending on the circumstances, solitude can be one effective route to deal with loneliness and the mental health issues that accompanies it.

To learn more, check out my video, Solitude: The Overlooked Path to Move Through Loneliness on The Incrementalist YouTube channel. Or listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript.

While it’s essential to have support from loved ones, friends, confidantes and professionals when dealing with suicidal thoughts, it’s equally important to be able to draw from one’s own inner reserves to navigate tough times. Reaching out for support starts with processing your own thoughts and feelings and knowing when you really need help.

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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Turn your hard efforts into easier steps

As you make gains, step by step, your actions and behaviors that used to take a lot of effort become more like a habit. You can choose to stay there and enjoy what you’ve accomplished or take the next step for a new challenge. You might also realize that just because something feels easy and natural to you doesn’t mean it’s merely your comfort zone. It could be your zone of genius, but you keep getting pulled out of it due to self-sabotage and external demands.

The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps, is now available on both Amazon and Leanpub.

It includes 5 core principles:

Principle 1: Prioritize and define your most important projects.

Principle 2: Break down your project into a step-by-step process.

Principle 3: Make time to take the necessary action steps.

Principle 4: Find your natural rhythm and work with it.

Principle 5: Rest and recharge.

With the Incrementalist approach, you tie all these universal principles together to help you achieve the right things gradually and deliberately – instead of being in a mad rush to get all the stuff done. Use this time-tested pathway to remind yourself of what it means to be truly productive and to get back on track, irrespective of how far off course you may be.

The book shows you how to skillfully practice the principles to do the right things, in the right way, at the right time – even when you feel unmotivated or uninspired.

If you buy it, read it, and enjoy it, please recommend it others and post a 5-star customer review on Amazon! Your support goes a long way in encouraging more readers to check it out and benefit from it as well.

If you bought the earlier, in-progress version of the book on Leanpub, the latest August 2023 edition has been updated to correct typos and grammatical errors, flesh out ideas and concepts, and include new and important content in each chapter.

When buying the book, consider the pros:

On Leanpub, you get free access to updated versions, a happiness guarantee (100% refund within 60 days of purchase), and a flexible price range.

On Amazon, you get the lowest price overall and immediate availability on your Kindle or Kindle app. (NOTE: If you buy the book on Leanpub, you can add it to your Kindle or Kindle app with a download and a click. To learn more, go HERE.)

To listen to Turn your hard efforts into easier steps, click here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist podcast at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

Watch the 25-second video and the 3-minute video for more on what you will get from reading the book. Also subscribe to our YouTube channel or podcast to learn how to keep making big changes in small steps.

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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Can You Get a U.S. Visa if You Have a Conviction for or Admit to a Drug Offense?

If you were convicted of or admit to committing a drug offense, this subjects you to a permanent bar from the United States. This means you will not be eligible to receive a U.S. visa or admission to the U.S. on crime-related and perhaps health-related grounds. There are, however, exceptions to the rule.

That said, is Prince Harry’s U.S. visa subject to revocation due to his public admission to illicit drug use? He does this in his memoir book Spare and in several media interviews. While this might be no big deal for the Duke of Sussex, such public admissions would typically carry high U.S. immigration risks.

In episode 14 of The Legal Immigrant, you will learn 4 tips to consider in dealing with the U.S. immigration consequences of a controlled substance violation:

1.Heritage Foundation sues DHS to obtain copy of Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex’s U.S. immigration records

2. Possible visa options for Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex

3. Tip #1 – Verify whether this is a conviction for or admission to committing the essential elements of a specific drug offense

  • Definition of a “conviction” for a drug offense under U.S. immigration law 6:09 Definition of an “admission” to a drug offense under U.S. immigration law
  • Definition of a “controlled substance” under U.S. federal law
  • Lying about a material fact on a visa application may lead to a finding of fraud or willful misrepresentation to obtain U.S. immigration benefits, which is a permanent bar under INA 212(a)(6)(C)(i)

4. Tip #2 – Consider the applicant’s age at the time of the drug offense

5. Tip #3 – Be aware of the separate, health-related inadmissibility bar related to drug use, under INA 212(a)(1)(A)(iv)

6. Tip #4 – Confirm eligibility for a waiver if you are found inadmissible due to a controlled substance violation or due to your being identified as a drug abuser or addict

  • Section 212(d)(3) nonimmigrant waiver for nonimmigrants who are found inadmissible due to drug offenses or due to being identified as a current drug abuser or addict
  • Factors considered in 212(d)(3) nonimmigrant waiver requests
  • Section 212(h) of the INA provides a waiver for immigrants who are found inadmissible for drug offenses in only one situation: that is, a single conviction or legal admission to committing one controlled substance offense that involves possession of marijuana, 30 grams or less
  • Eligibility requirements in Form I-601/INA 212(h) immigrant waiver requests 16:48 No immigrant waiver if you are if you are identified as a current drug abuser or addict and found inadmissible on health-related grounds under INA 212(a)(1)(A)(iv). You may, however, overcome this inadmissibility if the drug abuse or addiction is found to be in remission.

To listen, click HERE for Episode 14 on The Legal Immigrant podcast or find it on Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts

To watch the YouTube video, click HERE.  To read the transcript, click HERE

The Legal Immigrant provides general information only from Dyan Williams Law. U.S. immigration laws, policies and regulations may change, following the publication of this content. Do not consider it as legal advice. Each case is different. Even cases that seem similar can have different outcomes. 

To receive guidance on the U.S. immigration consequences of a record of controlled substance offenses, you may submit an email to info@dyanwilliamslaw.com or online message at www.dyanwilliamslaw.com.

2023 AILA Annual Conference and Webcast (June 21 – 24); Panel Speaker for The Art of Time Management

American Immigration Lawyers Association (AILA) will host the 2023 AILA Annual Conference and Webcast on Immigration Law, from June 21 to 24, in Orlando, Florida.

If you’re a U.S. immigration lawyer, join your colleagues for four days of skill development, connecting with your AILA colleagues, learning the basics, and delving into creative solutions for challenging problems. In addition, there are wellness, law practice management, and technology sessions to attend.

For the Special Sessions track, The Art of Time Management, on Wednesday, June 21, 9:30 am ET/8:30 am CT, I will be a panel speaker with fellow AILA members, Jacob Ratzan, Kelly Ryan and Zaira Solano.

Here’s the description for the session:

So much to do and so little time! Do you feel like you have 30 hours of tasks to complete in a 24- hour day? Panelists will discuss time management strategies that will help you achieve optimum operational efficiencies and reduce stress.

  1. Prioritizing and delegating tasks
    o Eliminating low priority tasks

2. Communicating effectively while adhering to your standard of quality

3. Achieving a balance between scheduling and flexibility, leaving time for professional and
personal contingencies 

4. Block scheduling, organizing your calendar based on related tasks
o Carving out blocks of time for consultations or drafting 

5. The value of regular administrative or case audits 

6. Creating time for business development

To view the full program, click here

To register for the conference, go to 2023 AILA Annual Conference and Webcast on Immigration Law.

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

SUBSCRIBE           CONTACT