Category Archives: communication

How to Prioritize What Matters: Listen to The Incrementalist, Episode 4

If you feel overwhelmed or you’re constantly rescheduling tasks, you are probably overestimating what you can do each day.

Practice Essentialism: do less, but better, so you will have the highest-quality results, with less stress and less friction. And figure out the One Thing you must do now and do that.

With incremental progress daily and weekly, you can create big results with small and consistent actions. Laser-like focus on your core work add up to make a massive difference in all areas of your life.

When we look at a clock – digital or analog – we see the seconds, minutes and hours passing. The day starts and end, regardless of what we do. The clock tells us we have 24 hours in a day.

Of that, we need about 7 to 8 hours of sleep, 1 hour for a lunch break, and a few more hours for daily routines, errands and so on. We have distractions and interruptions. Also, we’re human: our energy and focus ebb and flow throughout the day. 

The maximum time you have for your Most Important Tasks is around 8 hours per day. Your MIT is your core work or your high-value, high-leverage activity. This contributes directly to your success. It helps you create the most important, desired results. 

In this episode, I discuss how to set your priorities, which starts with the Brain Dump, continues with the Priority Matrix (Eisenhower Complex), and ends with blocking time and matching your tasks with your energy and focus levels, your environment, and your circumstances. 

I cover Essentialism, which involves distinguishing the vital few from the trivial many, and making the necessary trade-offs to tackle what truly matters.

I explain why you need to align your actions with your One Thing, which is what you can do, such that by doing it, makes everything else easier or unnecessary. 

Resources Cited: 

  • Greg McKeown – Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less 
  • Gary Keller and Jay Papasan – The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results 

Cheers,
Dyan Williams

P.S. If you like the show and want to help keep it going, please give it a 5-star rating and positive review on Apple Podcasts (from ITunes) or other app! Thank you to all who have expressed their appreciation since the launch. And special shout-out to Graham for the first posted review!

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps

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Breaking Bad Habits: Listen to The Incrementalist, Episode 3

Building good habits is essential to make a change and sustain a healthy and productive life. Sometimes we also need to break bad habits. They tend to serve you in the moment; the immediate outcome feels good. But over the long run, bad habits hurt you or benefit you very little.

Like good habits, bad habits also give you a dopamine hit. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is often called the feel-good hormone. Dopamine fires when you get the thing you crave, and when you anticipate getting that thing. 

A dopamine hit is not the same as true happiness, say Dr. Jud Brewer, director of research and innovation at Brown University Mindfulness Center, a psychiatrist and an expert in mindfulness training for treating addictions. To break everyday addictions and bad habits, he recommends you step out of the reactive pattern and just be present with whatever comes up. Use your natural curiosity to learn about the habit loop while you’re in it and become aware of the results of your actions. 

There are 4 laws of behavior change, says author, speaker and entrepreneur James Clear. If you want to build a habit, you make it Visible, Attractive, Easy and Satisfying. If you want to stop a habit, you invert the laws. You make it Invisible, Unattractive, Difficult and Unsatisfying. 

You might think you have to replace the habit with another to break it. But this is really a last resort. You can untangle the bad habit when you stay mindful, get curious, and invert the 4 laws of behavior change. 

Learn how your mind works, so you can work with it.” – Dr. Jud Brewer

You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” – James Clear

 Resources Cited:

  • Jud Brewer – The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love – Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break Bad Habits
  • James Clear – Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Here’s to breaking bad habits,

Dyan Williams

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps

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Listen to The Incrementalist: Episode 2, Building Good Habits

Whenever we want to make a change, we tend to think in terms of goals and outcomes, hopes and dreams. It’s good to know the results we want. But how do we get there? It starts with building good habits that add up over time to create success as you define it.

A habit starts with a conscious decision and becomes automatic through a 3-step loop (cue, behavior, reward). Building good habits allows you to make changes without relying on willpower and motivation. 

In this episode of The Incrementalist podcast, I discuss how motivation, ability and prompts drive behavior, using Professor BJ Fogg’s B=MAP formula. I also cover the ABC (Anchor, Behavior, Celebration) method to create new habits and sustain momentum.  Make the new behavior tiny with the starter step and by scaling back.

Excellence comes from the actions you do habitually, consistently, repeatedly – not from once-in-a-while acts.  Being the best version of yourself and having self-mastery stem from your habits. 

Resources Cited:

  • Charles Duhigg – The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
  • BJ Fogg – Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything
  • David T. Neal, Wendy Wood, and Jeffrey M. Quinn, Duke University, Habits – A Repeat Performance, Current Directions in Psychological Science, Volume 15, Issue 4, August 1, 2006
  • Magic Weighted Blanket

Music by:

  • Sebastian Brian Mehr


Happy habit-building,

Dyan Williams

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps

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Goals are Great. But Systems are Even Better.

January is a popular time to aim for radical changes and major shifts in life. Is your lifestyle, health, relationships, work, business or side project in a sad state? Or have you been on an upward trajectory?

The start of the year is when many of us get a burst of energy to set big, bold and risky goals. Perhaps you have plans to achieve yours by next month, within 90 days, or by the end of this year.

Life though does not always turn out according to plan. The year 2020 was a fierce reminder of this fact. There’s nothing wrong with goals. Specific goals are great when they help you move in the right direction.

But even better is a system to pivot, reset, upgrade, and make consistent progress on the things that really matter. When key goals are scrapped or missed, you can always revisit them when you have a system to get you back on track.

At the start of 2020, I had tentative plans to launch a podcast. As a solo immigration lawyer and a productivity coach, I was conflicted on whether to start one podcast or two. Over time, this project moved to the backburner while COVID-19, civil unrest, school closures, the November Elections, and other changes were at front and center.

During my annual review in December 2020, I reflected on the wins, the successes, the doubts, and the setbacks. Were there goals I had dropped and wanted to pick up again?

One major project I decided to return to was the podcast launch. I had more than enough topics to talk about, on either immigration or productivity. Years of running more than one blog led to a system for idea generation and content creation.

I already had the tools to start a podcast. They included the microphone, headphones, computer, and audio editing software we used to make the last video for my law firm’s YouTube channel.

Still, podcasting was a big leap for me. I thought, “I’m a writer, not a podcaster.” Never mind that you can develop skills through deliberate practice and deep study.  Never mind that I had spoken at various events and conferences on productivity, mindfulness, U.S. immigration and legal ethics issues.

There were podcast hosting choices and other technical mumbo jumbo to work through to start a podcast. By the end of December, the audio recording and sound editing of the first episodes — for two different podcasts — were done. Small, daily actions in short bursts made this possible.

Although I met the goals of launching The Incrementalist (a productivity podcast) and The Legal Immigrant (a U.S. immigration podcast) , it took systems to start them. And it will take systems to keep each show going. There’s a content strategy to release new episodes over the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I invite you to listen to episode 1 (introduction) in The Incrementalist podcast. Click HERE for the show’s website. Or find it on podcast apps like Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Listen Notes and via RSS feed.

If you like the content, please share it with others, leave a 5-star review, and subscribe so you don’t miss new episodes.

And if you’d like to check out my other podcast, The Legal Immigrant, click HERE for the show’s website.

Your downloads, shares and subscriptions mean a lot! To keep you listening, I will aim to add value through these shows. Podcasts give you a convenient way to get insights and information when you’re on the go or want to learn with audio.

Thank you for your support and audience.

All the best in 2021,

Dyan Williams

Author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps

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3 superpowers to be thankful for in a rough year

Being thankful in a rough year – like 2020 – is tough. The COVID-19 situation, economic fallout, and socio-political unrest have led to changes we did not expect. The end of the year (including Thanksgiving season in the United States) is an ideal time to reflect on what has been and what might be.

While adversity brings pain and discomfort, we have 3 superpowers to get us through it and out. They are acceptance, patience and resilience. We need each and all of them to keep ourselves together when life falls apart.

Acceptance.

When you accept what-is, you see things for what they truly are, rather than wish them to be different. You process unpleasant thoughts and emotions instead of suppress them. You keep climbing the steep cliff to get to the top, not jump off midway at your own peril.

Acceptance is not the same as giving up, condoning, or being complacent. You still have desires, goals and preferences. You still seek to make changes or defend the status quo. But you distinguish between what you control and what you don’t control. You recognize that while you might not have a say in big decisions, it’s your small daily actions that really matter.

You accept that you don’t always get what you want and you don’t have to get everything you want. You accept the present moment and the past, and you attend to the next moment and the future. You decide what you need to hold on to and what you have to let go of.

You’re not hooked on being right. You stop labeling yourself and others. You understand that choices and actions are based on nuanced and complex reasons, not one-dimensional motives. You’re able to engage with others who have different opinions and perspectives. You don’t just resort to labeling, blaming, stereotyping, censoring, and shutting down disagreements.

Although it’s comforting to be with kindred sprits, we grow and stretch more from seeking to understand those who are not. By staying open to conflict and tension, we gain a more holistic view of the world. This helps us sort facts from interpretations, distinguish narratives from truth, and separate groupthink from our own thoughts.

With the superpower of acceptance, we’re able to transform unbearable difficulties into welcome opportunities. We move from emotional rigidity to emotional agility. Only then can we make choices and take action in alignment with who we want to be in a given situation.

Patience.

Patience is an essential virtue for navigating uncertainty. It keeps your nervous system calm and your immune system strong. But we don’t get to exercise it much when our credit cards, smart phones, microwaves, and Amazon Prime make it so easy to get what we want right now.

Patience is allowing outcomes to unfold and goals to be reached organically and in due course — when more striving or more complaining is counterproductive. We practice waiting to get unfulfilled needs met while we look for substitutes and alternatives.

It often takes years to master our craft, optimize our skills, discover our gifts, and apply our strengths to create massive impact. There is no magic pill. There’s no overnight success.

Along the path, you might need to slow down, drop the stones you’ve been carrying, and lighten the load. Trust your natural rhythm and make space for rest, rather than obsess over your ability to produce.

With the superpower of patience, we know when to keep going, when to pause, and when to quit. We use routines, rituals, and repetition to get a little better every day. We make small tweaks in tiny moments to make a big difference. We course correct instead of rely on auto-pilot.

Resilience.

Having the grit to move through tough times, trusting yourself, and acting courageously are necessary to deal with life’s realities. To bounce back from major setbacks and everyday disappointment, we need to embrace vulnerabilities, have strong connections, honor our needs, process resentment, and find humor in grief.

Resilience helps us to move forward, flourish and thrive regardless of what life brings our way. We feel the anger, sadness and fear that come from losses, but we don’t let these feelings and emotions break our spirit. We can bend and flex in appropriate situations and hold our boundaries and set limits when necessary.

To get over rocky terrain, you have get back up and brush yourself off when you stumble or fall. You keep moving even when your confidence is shaken.

To cultivate resilience, you practice a wide range of responses and explore different possibilities for recovery. Sometimes you need to take the wait-and-see approach, not take instant action. Sometimes you need to move through rough patches, not end the relationship. Sometimes you need to laugh more, not meditate more. Sometimes you need to talk to a trusted confidante, not journal about your inner conflicts.

When you find meaning in crisis and purpose in hardships, you create resolve and strength to overcome. You drop the victim mentality. You don’t wait for others to take you in, take care of you or stand up for you. You put yourself in charge. You stand on your own and yet ask for help and receive it well when it’s given.

With the superpower of resilience, you have the ability to respond to setbacks and not just get strung along by external circumstances and conditions. You replace self-pity, anxiety and worry with a positive mindset. You see the big picture. You consider the temporary nature and existential uncertainty of all things.

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Acceptance, patience and resilience are 3 superpowers to be thankful for in a rough year. They help us see the silver linings, no matter how faint they might be. They are natural and innate, but they can be crushed out with profound loss, defeat, disappointment, trauma and fear-based messaging. We must keep cultivating, rediscovering and developing these superpowers to withstand crisis, create bonds, defend boundaries, and grow from hardships.

Regardless of the depth and breadth of adversity you face, there’s a high probability you’ll get through it and out. Your being alive is proof you’ve done it before.

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps, an e-book at http://leanpub.com/incrementalist.

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