Category Archives: communication

How to Control Your Attention

Posted on December 3, 2021 | Comments Off on How to Control Your Attention

Where is your attention right now?

Do you know how to refocus when it drifts off?

Do you know when to just stay open to what’s happening?

There are news stories and articles on how we have the attention span of a goldfish. You might have heard that with the Internet, we can now only focus for 8 seconds at a time. The good news is there are no studies to back this up.

There is also a common belief that we use only 10% of our brain. The entire brain is being used, but some parts are more activated than others. Having a peak mind is more about knowing where your attention is than whether or not you’re hyper-focused or hyper-vigilant. 

In episode 42 of The Incrementalist, you will learn:

1. We miss out on 50% of our lives because our attention is scattered and distracted.

2. In a given experience, moment or task, it’s important to ask yourself: Where is your attention now? Is it where you want it to be?

3. A wandering mind is not a real problem if you have meta-awareness or metacognition, i.e. to be aware of your awareness, or to pay attention to your attention.

4. The three different types of attention –
a) The Flashlight is when your attention is more singular, narrow and focused on a particular thing. It gives you privileged information, selects and filters out, and emphasizes content.

b) The Floodlight is when your attention is broad, receptive and open to whatever is happening now. It does not privilege any information, is open to inputs, and emphasizes time.

c) The Juggler is the manager and executive control system. It interprets the information from the flashlight and floodlight systems and determines whether your goals and behavior are aligned.

5. Even when you get rid of all the digital distractions, you will still have attention problems. Getting bored with a task, for example, can steer us toward online entertainment if we don’t know how to use boredom to our benefit.

6. Being distractable is human. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. We need it to avoid danger and predators. The capacity to mentally time travel is useful for thinking, reflecting, planning, visualizing, and dreaming.

But it also causes us to miss out on the moment, catastrophize about the future, ruminate on the past, or be preoccupied with things we don’t control. This can lead to high stress, anxiety, brain fog and depleted attention. So, you need to train yourself to direct your focus on where it has to be. 

7. Mindfulness training is key to developing your attention. Examples are:
a) Focused attention on the breadth
b) The S.T.O.P. practice (stop, take a breath, observe, proceed)
c) Open monitoring or open awareness meditation

8) Invest at least 12 minutes a day on mental training exercises to declutter your mind and develop your attention span

9) When you’re too focused, you miss the big picture and the context of the situation.  If you’re too open, you can become indecisive. 

You need to have all three systems in play to perform at your peak. The flashlight lets you keep your eye on the ball, the floodlight helps you to scan the field, and the juggler allows you to stay in and win the game. 

Sources cited: 

To listen to episode 42, How to Control Your Attention, click here. If you prefer to read the transcript, go here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

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Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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Get Bored Now, The Incrementalist, Ep. 41

Posted on November 26, 2021 | Comments Off on Get Bored Now, The Incrementalist, Ep. 41

Are you able to comfortably sit alone with your thoughts?

Do you look for external stimuli the moment you feel bored?

Does boredom make you less creative or productive?

Boredom is defined as a feeling of discontent with something that is dull, repetitive, tiresome or tedious. We prefer to stay away from anything that is boring to us. But boredom is largely a complex emotion that can have a very positive impact. It can make us more creative and productive.

In episode 41 of The Incrementalist, you will learn:

1) In 11 studies, researchers at the University of Virginia and Harvard University found that most participants did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes in a room by themselves with nothing to do but think.

  • Participants preferred to do mundane activities like scroll their cell phone.
  • Some chose pain over boredom by pressing a button to give themselves an electric shock.

2) A March 2019 article in the Academy of Management Discoveries reported that boredom is a little-known way to boost creativity.

  • Study 1: boredom helped boost individual productivity on an idea-generation task.
  • Study 2: boredom manipulation increased boredom but did not trigger other negative emotions like anger and frustration, which makes boredom a unique factor in sparking creativity.
  • Study 3: boredom did not always improve creativity for a product development task. The participants needed to have a high learning goal orientation, high need for cognition, high openness to experience, and high internal locus of control to get more creative when feeling bored.

3) Boredom is a cause of divergence-seeking, exploratory tendencies. Feeling bored will drive you to change and do something different, seek challenges, switch to goals or tasks that better serve you, and motivate you to engage in unusual ways of doing things that are contrary to typical or predictable responses.

4) Doing nothing or sitting with your thoughts is hard when there’s so much to do and so much to pull your attention. But if you want to be more creative and productive, it’s good to experience boredom.

5) Being bored is not the same as purposeful, relaxation activities, such as yoga and meditation.

6) To experience true boredom, you could sit with your eyes closed, or look out the window, or walk a familiar route and let your mind wander. There is no music, no podcast, and no other stimuli to engage your senses. It’s just you and your thoughts.

7) Boredom is not a bad thing if you know how to use it as an opportunity for idea generation and creative breakthroughs.

Sources cited:

  • Timothy D. Wilson,, David A. Reinhard, Erin C. Westgate, Daniel T. Gilbert, Nicole Ellerbeck Cheryl Hahn, Casey L. Brown, Adi Shaked, Just think: the challenges of the disengaged mind, Science, July 2014, Volume 345, Issue 6192
  • Guihyun Park, Beng-Chong Lim, Hui Si Oh, Why Being Bored Might Not Be a Bad Thing After All, Academy of Management Discoveries, March 2019, Volume 5, Number 1
  • Dyan Williams, The Incrementalist podcast,  Ep. 12, Divergent vs. Convergent Thinking

To listen to episode 41, Get Bored Now, click here. If you prefer to read the transcript, go here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

# # #

Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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How to Learn and Master Any Skill (part 2)

Posted on September 23, 2021 | Comments Off on How to Learn and Master Any Skill (part 2)

Do you resist learning outside of your element?

Are you presuming answers without really understanding the problem?   

Do you love to learn many things fast, but often skip over the fundamentals?  

When you’re acquiring and developing a new skill, you need to learn how to learn. Learning is a meta-skill for life and for sustaining peak performance. This continuation of a two-parts episode builds on the foundation principles covered in Episode 36.

In episode 37 of The Incrementalist, you will learn: 

7 more  takeaways to learn and master any skill

  • Keep a beginner’s mind – be like the child learning to crawl who is not concerned about how she looks or about whether she’s succeeding or failing.  
  • Invest in loss – give yourself to the learning process and be willing to lose and fail so you can win and succeed. 
  • Make smaller circles – emphasize depth over breadth; focus on the micro to understand the macro. 
  • Use adversity – take advantage of setbacks to hone new skills and move out of creative ruts. 
  • Slow down time – connect the unconscious and the conscious mind through chunking (create neural pathways, chunks, and navigation systems between the chunks).
  • Be fully present – pay attention to the learning process to increase clarity in high-stakes moments. 
  • Get in the zone – use the stress-recovery effect to achieve focus and flow states. 

Resources cited:

Music by:

To listen to episode 37, How to Learn and Master Any Skill (part 2), click here. If you prefer to read the transcript, go here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

# # #

Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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How to Learn and Master Any Skill (part 1)

Posted on September 17, 2021 | Comments Off on How to Learn and Master Any Skill (part 1)

Is lack of skill holding you back from getting a desired result?

Do you believe your abilities are fixed or predetermined? 

Are you making the same mistakes over and over? 

When you’re learning and developing any skill, it’s better to have a growth mindset, than a fixed mindset. Talent and natural ability do matter. But your attitude towards failure and setbacks are more critical. 

There are two modes of learning theories: entity versus incremental theories of intelligence.  

Entity theorists think, “I am smart at this.” Success or failure is based on an ingrained ability. Intelligence or skill is a fixed entity.  Incremental theorists think, “I got it because I worked hard.” Success or failure depends on effort. Intelligence or skill can be developed.

In episode 36 of The Incrementalist, you will learn: 

1) The two modes of learning theories

  • Entity theorists have a fixed mindset
  • Incremental theorists have a growth mindset

2) 4 key takeaways to learn and master any skill

  • Decide whether you want to be decent, good, great or among the best – it’s okay to aim for decent, but if you want to be among the best, the stakes and standards will be higher. 
  • Stay true to yourself and to your style – in the pursuit of high performance, you keep in tune with your unique disposition. 
  • Maintain soft zones to increase concentration and overcome distraction – be at peace with an imperfect environment, and use it to your advantage.
  • Avoid the downward spiral – don’t repeat the same mistakes, whether technical or psychological. 

Resources cited:

Music by:

Dyan Williams

To listen to episode 36, How to Learn and Master Any Skill, click here. If you prefer to read the transcript, go here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

# # #

Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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Create Space to Think (part 2)

Posted on September 10, 2021 | Comments Off on Create Space to Think (part 2)

Making space between activities can be done solo, without allies. But industry norms and workplace culture might pull you back into chronic busyness.

Norms are standards or principles of action that apply to a group. A culture is made up of norms. Effective leadership from the top reduces the burden on individuals who seek to have more margin in their day.

In episode 35 of The Incrementalist, you will learn:

1) Creating space solo, without allies, is doable. But it’s easier to sustain when you have support. Interactions with others and not just your own actions lead to positive change. 

2) To shift mindset, you start with yourself. Cut down on unnecessary meetings, stop interrupting others, and keep your emails clear and brief. Avoid being redundant without being harsh and cold. 

3) How to check and process emails

a) Four points to consider when it comes to emails:

  • Is it mandatory or optional?
  • Could you reduce the time spent on this message? 
  • Could you opt out or leave others out of the thread?
  • Is it better to stay out of the email inbox and focus on the real task?

b) Why you need to watch out for the email shadow (the dark cloud of distraction that takes you out of the present moment) 

c) When you may declare email bankruptcy (hit delete and start from a clean slate)

d) The yellow list allows you to capture ideas and information for another person and reduces interruptions brought by sporadic messages

4) How to avoid overuse of digital devices, which lead to absent presence

  • Delete the apps from your phone
  • Reduce the just checks
  • Do phone narration to let the other person know what you’re doing when you pick up your digital device

5) The skill of saying no by sandwiching it between two yeses or using the hourglass method

6) When assigning tasks or delegating projects, spotlight what’s most important. (The to-do list can be confusing and overwhelming.) 

7) The 50/50 Rule: “Anything that bothers you at work is 50% your responsibility until you’ve asked for what you want.” 

8) A four-step approach to express your truth with less stress: vent, empathize, prepare, share

9) The importance of selecting the right medium for the message you want to share

a) The two types of communication

  • 2D communication involves simple issues, yes/no answers. 
  • 3D communication is more nuanced and complex. They benefit from verbal cues, tone of voice and eye contact. 

b) The two types of mediums

  • A 2D medium is static, like email, Slack, and instant messages.
  • A 3D medium is live, like telephone, video and face to face meetings.

c)  A 2D message is efficient in a 2D medium and wastes time in a 3D medium. A 3D message is effective in a 3D medium, and compromises richness in a 2D medium. 

10)  In meetings, the three key questions to ask yourself before you say something are: Is it kind? Is it honest? Is it necessary? 

  • Just because something is kind and honest doesn’t mean it needs to be said.
  • Just because something needs to be said doesn’t mean it needs to be said by you.
  • Just because something needs to be said by you doesn’t mean it needs to be said now. 

11) How to find out if you’re in an SBH (Shouldn’t Be Here) situation and negotiate your way out of it

12) Fix the road, not the car. Isolated Interventions are quick, short-sighted fixes to complicated issues. 

13) As a change catalyst and leader, you speak the language of the person you seek to engage. 

  • Making judgments and using force and commands don’t sit well and is bound to spark underground sabotage and outright resistance.
  • Knowing how to talk with Finance Folks, People People, and Idea Lovers is key

14) Making space is not just for the workplace, but also sparks high joy and deep joy at home. 

  • High joy is an experience that makes you gasp; it comes from surprise, risk and exertion. 
  • Deep joy is an experience that reaches down into your body and warms you; it comes from friendship, gratitude, giving, and peace.

Resources cited:

Music by:

To listen to episode 35,  Create Space to Think (part 2), click here. If you prefer to read the transcript, go here. Subscribe to The Incrementalist at Apple Podcasts or other apps.

# # #

Dyan Williams is a solo lawyer who practices U.S. immigration law and legal ethics at Dyan Williams Law PLLC. She is also a productivity coach who helps working parents, lawyers, small business owners and other busy people turn their ideas into action, reduce overwhelm, and focus on what truly matters. She is the author of The Incrementalist: A Simple Productivity System to Create Big Results in Small Steps.

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